Know Your Tax Forms From Your Lubricants

I work in a library at the circulation desk, and believe me, I see ALL kinds of crazy on a regular basis.  You would think that for the most part the people who hang out in libraries are intellectuals, pedantic know-it-all's, philosophers and knowledge seekers.  This is a blatant lie perpetuated by people who DON'T hang out in libraries.   The library where I work is basically located in the Compton of the Midwest. OK, maybe it's not THAT bad, maybe it's ComptonLite. You get the idea. I have seen, heard and smelled it ALL.

Moving along; the library carries tax forms that are available free of charge to anyone who wants them.  When you walk into the library, the forms are in plain view and there is even a sign that says "TAX FORMS" posted near the three huge tables of forms.  There is also a nicely printed, colorful poster that uses guidelines to show you which forms you will need to pick up. Do people read the nice signs? Read?! What nonsense! Why who would READ in a library?? But I digress...awhile back, a young man aged about 16 approaches me at the front desk.  The dialogue of our conversation was as follows:

"Can i help you?"
"Yeah, i need a WD40 tax form."
"Umm...I don't think you mean WD40, that's a lubricant.  You probably need a 1040 tax form."
"Well, my dad said to come down here and get a WD40 tax form."
"Well...there are W2 tax forms, but you need to get those from your employer.  Your dad probably wants you to pick up a 1040 form."
"Well, where can I get that?"
"All of our tax forms are on that table over there.  You'll find the 1040 on the first table."
"What does it look like?  I mean, how will I know which one it is?"
"It's written at the top of the form. It says "1040" Here, why don't you ask Mike, he's our reference librarian.  He can help you better select the form you need.  His desk is right over there."
"Ok, thanks."

So the young Albert Einstein walks over to Mike's desk, and what does he ask for?  Does he ask for a 1040 form?  Does he ask which tax form will best suit his father's needs?  No.  He says to Mike "Yeah, I need a WD40 tax form."

Mike stares blankly at me. 

What I said: "1040, Mike. He needs a 1040."

What I wanted to say: "Son, the WD40's are over there, right next to the 10W30's, between the Formula 409's and the B-52's"

So the next time you think working in a library would be a nice, quiet job where you'd get to sit and read all of the time, think again.  Unless you're ready to deal with things like urine-soaked books, the remains of a haircut on a bathroom floor, or a man who thinks it's perfectly normal for him to be doing vertical push-ups against the shelves in the biography section, stick with your day job.  And please, from all of us librarians, do know your lubricants from your tax forms.